To Each Their Own


I know I have a shopping problem because I still have clothes with tags on them. Usually I shop when I need to feel good. If I’ve had a shitty week or something is really getting to me, I head to Winners.

When I get through the doors, I know that I’m gonna be in there for a while, so I get a cart. I watch the “normal” shoppers with three or four items in my cart and I wonder how they can do that.

I start in the sweater racks, usually I select 5-6 sweaters and chuck them in my cart, then I do the same with pants, skirts, casual wear and blouses. The item Nazi in theΒ  fitting area usually looks at my cart as if to say “You better not bring any more than six items in here at a time bitch”.

Fortunately (for her) she doesn’t say this out loud, and I already know the rule.

Every time I shop, I perpetually torture myself. I buy the size that I’m not, but wish I was… And am disappointed when it doesn’t fit. It’s a sick little game I play with myself and gets me really pissed off.

Until… I find that one black swan. That one pair of pants that shouldn’t fit, but does. And until that happens, I’m not happy.

Binging on shopping, is a bit like gambling. You know that your money should stay in the bank, that there are far better uses for it than 6 tops, a jacket, and a pair of jeans. But you feel temporary elated while you’re shopping, which is why it works. The guilt doesn’t really set in until you get home and log on to internet banking and discover how much your little shopping binge set you back.

I guess I’m kind of tired of the shopping addiction now. I need something better and more exciting. I’ve done the drugs & alcohol, tattoos (still a current) and the shopping… I need a healthier addiction. Something that I can obsess over and do way more than I should, but that won’t cause me health problems or financial stress.

Because let’s face it… We’re all addicted to something.


6 thoughts on “To Each Their Own

  1. that’s a great question – what’s a healthy addiction, or are all addiction by definition unhealthy? some people are addicted to going to the gym or sunbeds or some other thing that they think will give them the ideal body, but their addictive behaviour isn’t conducive to true happiness because what they seek is unattainable. i guess the ideal is to avoid being an obsessive, to just be you. it’s the old adage – you should just want what you have, but if what you have isn’t enough – my suggested addiction would be ….anything which gets you out into the countryside or the wilderness on a regular basis. or antything really that takes you out of constantly thinking about yourself; theatre, music, movies, cooking (as opposed to eating), friends – these are good addictions.

  2. Lingo I get so much of what you write- I absolutely love your blog and you have no idea how good I feel after I visit your page- sorry, it isn’t that I’m happy your an addict too with something or whatever, it just feels good to know I am not the only one out there!!!

    Why don’t you try to write a memoir or a fiction novel…become obsessed with writing.

    Don’t feel guilty to become addicted to blogging here more often- it is a healthier outlet except I know why you might not- you don’t get the same feeling as you do in those stores spending that money…

    I wish I could help you out…hell I can’t even help myself out…lets both get medicated and sleep the world away for a night πŸ™‚

  3. Hmmm a healthy addiction? I guess if it doesn’t cost too much or make you fat that leaves many otpions πŸ™‚

  4. Steve: What’s this “Facebook” thing you speak of? I’m intrigued… πŸ˜‰

    PaulMCT: I would LOVE to be able to blog every day. The problem is, I am such a moody bitch and can’t write unless I’m “in the mood”. Its a horrible curse.

    West: Ooooh cooking is a good one! But getting fat is a side dish. I am into independent films… but not enough to become an “obsession” 😦

    Just Ordinary: Yes, lets both have a pill party and obsess over dosages. Ha! Thank you so much for the kind words!! It’s funny because my lack of writing here would indicate that I am in fact not obsessed with writing, but I truly am. I think about it every single day at least a dozen times. If I can’t write, I get really frustrated. It is so difficult to be in the mood sometimes… Then getting your work out to the publishers, well that’s a whole other mind fuck in itself… πŸ™‚

    Lisa: I am going to “try” to get addicted to exercise before the summer comes, I don’t know how that one’s gonna go though. LOL!

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