I Gorged Myself On Olives Today


When I was a kid I ate so many sourballs that my tongue actually began to bleed. It took days for my taste buds to return to their normal state and for my tongue to return to it’s normal colour.

Excessive to the point of total self-destruction has been a continuing theme throughout my life, and I often wonder if I am even capable of being anything but that way. And if I could be another way… would I?

I don’t smoke, but when I drink, I’m Sailor Sue with a truckers mouth and a pack a day habit. I don’t have a problem with food, but I just gorged on olives to the point of stomach pain, nausea and not being able to say the word “olive” without gagging.

I’m not supposed to drink while taking my medication, but I convinced myself that Red wine was the exception and that I’d be fine… Fine, if fine means a throbbing, buzzing brain, nausea, insomnia, dehydration, 3 Advils and a Gravol.

I don’t drink a glass of milk, I stand at the counter with one hand on the jug, and the other hand downing the glass of milk as if it’s a contest to chug the fastest. I once drank an entire bag of milk in one standing and then felt very sick.

TV isn’t a big thing in my life, but when I do watch it, I really get into my shows (usually series) and watch them On Demand so that I can sit there and watch 4 or 5 episodes in a row. If a show doesn’t make me addicted, it’s not worth watching. I’m craving the return of Dexter.

Nothing is ever “okay” or “fine”; it’s FUCKING HORRIBLE or AMAZING!!! No Grey skies, just Black or White, good or bad, simple or hard, yes or no. When I like something, I don’t just like it, I obsess over it, I engross myself in it, I slather it all over my body, mind and soul until I become so sick of it that it disgusts me to look at it or think about it.

Like olives… I don’t think I can eat olives again for a long time.



7 thoughts on “I Gorged Myself On Olives Today

  1. Interesting picture there. I think we all have our demons some of us can just supress them more than others.
    At least you can analyze yourself. Not sure if that is half the battle but a good portion of it, no?
    My niece is compulsive and the part that isn’t is a very beautiful,smart and creative person. You remind me of her.
    I guess she has her much needed outlets.

  2. Lisa: I agree. Everyone has their demons, that’s for sure. Being able to recognize them and talk about them openly is a good thing for the most part.

    PaulMCT: I just had that tune playing in my head when I read your comment. I was driving down a country road on a sunny day. Thanks 🙂

    Steve: Oh I know! You could probably even sell me a few of your shirts.

    Mion: Yesterday coke, today olives, tomorrow life (I hope)… LOL!

  3. I’m glad I brought a smile to your face but… You read it while driving? You do like to test the limits, don’t you?

    Now I have a couple cans of olives in my cupboard I won’t touch for a while. No, not fresh ones – they were on sale and, at that price, I could only think about how much I love olives.

    You’ve mad me see my lack of common sense when I made the decision to buy. A whole can is too much for one guy at one time. I’m not normally an impulse buyer but, damn olives are good. They make feel all Mediterranean. Blue water, dolphins, sunshine, topless girls on the beach.

    What can I make with them?

  4. PaulMCT: I was only figuratively driving down a country road on a sunny day (sorry to disappoint). In actuality I was sitting on my leather sofa staring out the window at the frigid subzero temperatures.

    The olives can be dangerous. I never knew there was a limit with those… but now I know, anymore than 20 and I’m in the danger zone. LOL.

    Olive bread is good. Or tapanade is also awesome!

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