I never questioned why he always wanted to have sex doggy style, or why he liked to wear my Mac Lip Glass all the time… I just assumed that he thought I had a great ass and that he got chapped lips. I didn’t even wonder when he asked to come with me to the spa and got a seaweed wrap, pedicure, and his entire chest waxed. I just thought I was lucky to have a guy who cared so much about proper grooming and body treatments.
But then I came home early one night and caught him wearing my Pink leather thongs with my bitch boots and boa. And it wasn’t so much “that” that freaked me out… But that he was dancing around our living room to Madonna (Holiday) pressing his pecs together as if to pretend having breasts… And the curtains… WIDE open! Which, if we didn’t live on a main street in the entertainment district, and it wasn’t 10 o-clock at night, maybe wouldn’t have been as big of a deal… But you might as well have shone a fucking giant spotlight on him and elevated him on a 20 foot stage in Times Square in New York!
When he saw me standing in the hall he gasped and covered his nipples. I stood there with my eyes and mouth wide open and said “what the FUCK are you doing?”
“I-I-I was just messing around T, had one too many drinks ya know?!”
“Uhhh NO… I don’t know. I don’t run around rockin’ a handlebar, chaps and a strap-on when you’re gone out. Should I be concerned Shawn… Seriously??”
“Well… I don’t mind that you like to wear my lip gloss. I love that I can shop with you and talk to you about beauty and hair products, and you get it. But, I am feeling a little freaked out right now Shawn… I mean, do you understand why I might be feeling a little freaked out… do you?”
“Okay… So it’s not the most mainstream thing in the world, but whatever. I’m just having fun. What’s the big deal?”
“I’m sorry… You know, I really am having a hell of a time talking to you like this right now… Can you please at least just go take off those thongs and my fucking boots Shawn? Please… I just, I can’t talk to you like this.”
He was wearing glitter, eye shadow, blush and lipstick too… But it was the thong and boots that bothered me most, I’m not sure why. I mean it should have bothered me equally on every level and to every degree, but the Boots and Boa were especially pissing me off. Maybe because I bought those things to turn him on, and never expected that HE would be wearing them and getting turned on by himself.
After an awkward and lengthy chat that night, things went somewhat back to “normal” for a while. Shawn assured me I had nothing to worry about, that he loved me, and was just a little out of it. He even made an effort to not wear any lip gloss for a while, and he didn’t use my body lotion or eye cream.
Then came Halloween… And I should’ve saw it coming. Of course, being the dress up queen that he is, he wanted to dress like a woman, which… Because it was halloween, I was fine with… But he wanted me to dress up like a gimp. A FUCKING GIMP!!! He went out and picked out the outfit and everything… Here he is.. the fucking Belle of the Ball with a sequin gown, a glamourous wig and stilettos, and what do I get? A goddamn full leather face mask with a zipper. He might as well have just given me a garbage bag to put over my entire face and body… Would’ve had the same effect. I threw the gimp costume out the window onto the street, and heard some passers-by laughing. That was the final straw in the straw factory that was our relationship!
I never wanted to inhibit him from being who he was, but I like being a WOMAN… I’m happy being a woman and I am fucking proud to be a WOMAN!!! And at night, when I go to bed, I want a man there. A man to wrap his arms around me… A man to keep me warm… Not a confused bitchy little diva who can’t decide what he wants to be and steals my thongs and makeup.
We had a great apartment and a fun relationship, but unfortunately, to allow for each of our development in life to advance… I had to leave, and I did. And when I left I gave him a huge box filled with old evening wear, little black dresses, pumps, stillettos, sandals, makeup, hats, wigs, and jewellry. He cried and said “These are the most beautiful stilettos i’ve ever seen”.
We kept in touch, but never fucked again.