Caught in the “Act”??


I never questioned why he always wanted to have sex doggy style, or why he liked to wear my Mac Lip Glass all the time… I just assumed that he thought I had a great ass and that he got chapped lips. I didn’t even wonder when he asked to come with me to the spa and got a seaweed wrap, pedicure, and his entire chest waxed. I just thought I was lucky to have a guy who cared so much about proper grooming and body treatments.

But then I came home early one night and caught him wearing my Pink leather thongs with my bitch boots and boa. And it wasn’t so much “that” that freaked me out… But that he was dancing around our living room to Madonna (Holiday) pressing his pecs together as if to pretend having breasts… And the curtains… WIDE open! Which, if we didn’t live on a main street in the entertainment district, and it wasn’t 10 o-clock at night, maybe wouldn’t have been as big of a deal… But you might as well have shone a fucking giant spotlight on him and elevated him on a 20 foot stage in Times Square in New York!

When he saw me standing in the hall he gasped and covered his nipples. I stood there with my eyes and mouth wide open and said “what the FUCK are you doing?”

“I-I-I was just messing around T, had one too many drinks ya know?!”

“Uhhh NO… I don’t know. I don’t run around rockin’ a handlebar, chaps and a strap-on when you’re gone out. Should I be concerned Shawn… Seriously??”

“Define concerned…”

“Well… I don’t mind that you like to wear my lip gloss. I love that I can shop with you and talk to you about beauty and hair products, and you get it. But, I am feeling a little freaked out right now Shawn… I mean, do you understand why I might be feeling a little freaked out… do you?”

“Okay… So it’s not the most mainstream thing in the world, but whatever. I’m just having fun. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m sorry… You know, I really am having a hell of a time talking to you like this right now… Can you please at least just go take off those thongs and my fucking boots Shawn? Please… I just, I can’t talk to you like this.”

He was wearing glitter, eye shadow, blush and lipstick too… But it was the thong and boots that bothered me most, I’m not sure why. I mean it should have bothered me equally on every level and to every degree, but the Boots and Boa were especially pissing me off. Maybe because I bought those things to turn him on, and never expected that HE would be wearing them and getting turned on by himself.

After an awkward and lengthy chat that night, things went somewhat back to “normal” for a while. Shawn assured me I had nothing to worry about, that he loved me, and was just a little out of it. He even made an effort to not wear any lip gloss for a while, and he didn’t use my body lotion or eye cream.

Then came Halloween… And I should’ve saw it coming. Of course, being the dress up queen that he is, he wanted to dress like a woman, which… Because it was halloween, I was fine with… But he wanted me to dress up like a gimp. A FUCKING GIMP!!! He went out and picked out the outfit and everything… Here he is.. the fucking Belle of the Ball with a sequin gown, a glamourous wig and stilettos, and what do I get? A goddamn full leather face mask with a zipper. He might as well have just given me a garbage bag to put over my entire face and body… Would’ve had the same effect. I threw the gimp costume out the window onto the street, and heard some passers-by laughing. That was the final straw in the straw factory that was our relationship!

I never wanted to inhibit him from being who he was, but I like being a WOMAN… I’m happy being a woman and I am fucking proud to be a WOMAN!!! And at night, when I go to bed, I want a man there. A man to wrap his arms around me… A man to keep me warm… Not a confused bitchy little diva who can’t decide what he wants to be and steals my thongs and makeup.

We had a great apartment and a fun relationship, but unfortunately, to allow for each of our development in life to advance… I had to leave, and I did. And when I left I gave him a huge box filled with old evening wear, little black dresses, pumps, stillettos, sandals, makeup, hats, wigs, and jewellry. He cried and said “These are the most beautiful stilettos i’ve ever seen”.

We kept in touch, but never fucked again.


6 thoughts on “Caught in the “Act”??

  1. Pingback: Untwisted Vortex - Living in a Different Land » Blog Drive-Bys for 2007-03-27

  2. RT: I don’t know… I really don’t. Sometimes when I finish writing a story I am astonished, and horrified and bewildered by where it came from. I think I just have a twisted imagination. I rarely have a straight face…

    Poobah: Yeah, you know if it wasn’t for the thong… I think it would’ve been fine… But the thong was what really did it. 🙂 Thanks for reading & commenting. Always appreciated.

    Drive-By: Thanks for driving by. Please don’t riccochet my windows with bullets though okay>?

    Steve: F’n democrats eh!! 😉

  3. As the occasional cross-dresser, I can totally sympathize with you. It’s not something I do a lot but it is something I enjoy from time to time and I have always tried to respect the feelings and clothing of the women I date.
    Even when they accept that side of me, I know when it’s appropriate to step into those things and I respect their personal items.
    And I would definately NEVER try to out-glamour the girl I was dating! The whole idea of him dolling himself up for Halloween and asking you to wear some ugly mask just shows that the whole thing was all about him. Make himself beautiful then drag you in tow to make him look even better. That’s just rediculous and disrespectful.
    I’ve always owned my own things and while I have borrowed the occasional outfit, I made sure that it was ok and I never took intimate things like panties or lingerie.
    I know I wouldn’t want to wear a pair of boxers that some other guy wore and I can totally see how him wearing the things you bought to turn him on would bother you.
    I’m sorry you had to go through that. Unfortunately as someone who’s had the same kinds of urges as your ex, I’ve seen similar things happen quite frequently which is why I made the effort to make sure that I follow my own appropriate guidelines when I feel like a little dress up. It’s much more exciting when you have someone to share it with.
    You can love your clothes, but no matter how hard you try, they’ll never love you back so it’s best to always be open and honest about these things.


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