Sudden Identity Death Syndrome


every day i went in with a smile
i walked the exhausting corporate mile
i towed the company line each day
with bitter resent for the corporate way

i stood at the water cooler and talked the talk
i went to the boardroom and walked the walk
bob smiled and i asked “how are the kids?”
but suddenly i remember that one died of SIDS

my fake corporate mask was starting to crumble
bob’s nervous stomach was starting to grumble
i ran down the hall and back to my cube
to break out the scotch and suck back the lube

and i sat under my desk shaking with fear
knowing that the end would soon be near
but what was i afraid of?… this wasn’t me
at least if i got fired, i could actually be


10 thoughts on “Sudden Identity Death Syndrome

  1. You know I totally agree with you. Pften times I feel so trapped here at my “Corporate Hell”. We have to do what we have to do but if only we could all do what makes us happy. I envy those getting paid to do what they love.

    Happy Holidays to you my friend. Perhaps we will see each other./

  2. The corporate world sucks.

    I’m looking at quitting next year and moving on. Maybe I’ll stick to IT (I’ll try to get in with Mac dealers if I do) or maybe I’ll go back into construction.

    Either way I fully feel your pain of ceasing to exist because you don’t fit in with the corporate “ideal”. Who needs the hassle of being a corporate cow all moving in the same direction, no individuality, no freedom to be who you are, every ounce of energy sapped from your body as you fight a losing battle to become Them.

    Man I need that Scotch.

  3. Holy Shit!!! That was actually quite funny. I was just sitting here flipping through pages with my guitar in hand reading and this came up and I about died when I read it.

    This line:

    “bob smiled and i asked “how are the kids?”
    but suddenly i remember that one died of SIDS”

    You are really creative!

    Unfortunately I am a corporate prick…

  4. faulkner said: “One of the saddest things is that the only thing that a man can do for eight hours a day, day after day, is work. You can’t eat eight hours a day nor drink for eight hours a day nor make love for eight hours—all you can do for eight hours is work. Which is the reason why man makes himself and everybody else so miserable and unhappy.”

    …so please keep writing, chica…

  5. Poobah: I would have to buy the scotch with my pogey… And when I stood in line at the bank to cash my government cheque stinking like scotch, the tellers would frown at me.

    Pegasus: My goal in life is to always do what makes me happy and if I get paid for it, AWESOME!! I so don’t fit in at the office. We will definitely have to hook up for a drink, that’d be great.

    Wookie: Right you are! I love the way they try to shape & mould you into what they want you to be… No, that’s not big brotherish at all… Good luck to you on your trek through careerville. I hope you find a job that you can find yourself in.

    Steve: Thanks! I think most of us are a corporate prick at one point or another. It’s the ones that are but don’t even realize it, that are the pathetic ones.

    Chico: That is the most beautiful quote i’ve heard in a while. I love it… I absolutely love it. It’s the most truthful thing I’ve read all day!

  6. Izzy: Thanks girl. Happy Holidays to you as well. Here’s to wishing you many ounces of egg nog washed down with fine wine and some champagne, and sprinkled with lots of awesome family memories, photos and generous gifts too!

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