I’m Still Here

Everybody hates Mondays. I do too, but this Monday, is one that I will never forget as for as long as I live. I was running late for work as usual… It was cold too. I remember looking at my temperature gauge, it said – 3.5, Thankfully I had my seat heaters on to keep my ass warm because the heaters were taking forever to get warm and the cold just gets right into my bones. I hate the cold.

I didn’t have my music playing, just the sound from the air blasting out of my vents trying to heat up the cold little MINI. I was in the fast lane, or “the passing lane” as it’s more appropriately called. The traffic was your usual Monday morning rush hour traffic. I was about half way to work when it happened.

In a split second, my tire caught a lip in the road, traveling at 120KMH and sent me skidding and spinning across 4 lanes of traffic on the highway. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, crying, and I was terrified like I never have been before. All I could think about was “well this is it… this is the end of my life”. I thought about the ones I love, I saw their faces, their smiles, and I mourned what I thought would be the end of my life. I did 3 or 4-360 degree turns and had absolutely no control of my car. I knew that a crash was inevitable, it was just a matter of what I would crash into. Knowing that I would surely be hit by other vehicles if I continued to spin frantically in the traffic lanes, I tried my best to steer my car into the guard rail. And somehow, without any other cars hitting me, that’s where I managed to crash my car with brute force.

The impact was like nothing I have ever felt before. It sent shockwaves throughout my entire body. I don’t know if something hit my head or if it was just from the sheer impact, but my head was pounding and my body went numb.  I think I was out of it for a bit, either delusional or unconscious. The next thing I remember is people yelling and trying to talk to me. Their voices were muffled. I don’t know what I said, or what they were saying. The next thing I remember was being in the back seat of someone’s car. He was a very nice man, maybe in his early 50s, he was middle Eastern and had his sister with him. She had tears in her eyes as she held my hand and I cried my eyes out. They told me that they were behind me the entire time and saw the whole thing happen. She (the sister) was screaming and praying to God to save my life. I guess it worked… My stance on God has now changed.

The fire trucks, police and ambulance were on the scene a short while later and I did my best to tell them what happened as I had one fireman holding my neck and another talking to me through a window. A short while later I was placed onto a board and into an ambulance, and off I went.

In nothing short of a miracle, I was released several hours later (after some tests and x-rays) with nothing more than a body full of pain. So, I can’t move my neck, my shoulders are very sore, my jaw hurts when I chew, and my back is fucked…. But I AM ALIVE!!! And that to me, is a miracle. I don’t know who was looking out for me that day, but somebody was.

And so my car might be a write off, but I am just happy that it wasn’t my time yet. I didn’t want to go out like that… And I didn’t. I’m still here.


18 thoughts on “I’m Still Here

  1. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I guess asking if you are ok or not is stupid. I am so sorry Selina that this happened. The firght you must have felt thinking of your two girlies. I will pray that you will be ok. If you need to call or if there is anything I can do for you…please call me. And don’t worry about the car…the vessel that you are is much more important. Take care ok.

  2. Thanks Peggy. I just feel very very lucky!!! It amazes me to know that I came out that situation alive. My body is in a lot of pain, but nothing is broken. It happened on the Q.E.W. this past Monday on my way to work. I am just waiting to hear from the insurance adjusters now to find out for sure if my car is a write off or not.

  3. Thank whoever for miracles. There has been enough bad news lately. I won’t really go into it hear, and you certainly don’t want to hear about it at the moment, but take a look at my blog to see my week.

    just glad you are okay.


  4. you are a blessed chica… i, for one, am relieved to know that…

    you truly are the punk rock ninja angel, aren’t you…?

    there was no taking you down…

    uh-uh, no way, no how…

    let the healing process begin!

  5. OH MY GOD!!! My wife wants a Mini for our third car. She hates my old Porsche in the garage that I managed to wreck in Frisco coming down Lombard. She was so afraid that I was hurt that day. Totally fixed the car and restored it to original condition but it does scare you shitless when you drive.

    I have a Dodge Dakota I drive for work in and out of the Bay Area. I put 35-40 thousand miles a year on the truck and get a new one every 2-3 years. I see at least one or two bad accidents a week. Last week, I was almost hit by a jack-knifing Tractor Trailer heading into Napa. If I hadn’t evaded the truck off the shoulder, I swear I would not be writing this message right now.

    Accidents freak the shit out of me. I hope everything goes well!! It would suck not to have you writing these fantastic stories.

  6. i just drop in to read a story and then it’s not like when i thought it was true and found out it was a story but now it turns out to be true and AAAARRRRGH.

    you must have been in that weird shock state while it was happening when everything seems to go quiet. well, it has for me a couple of times. *shudder*.

    very glad you’re still with us. best regards,

  7. glad to hear you’re alright, take up that liquor suggestion to thrill down the pain.

    Now it’s time for you to find out which God really saved you. If its Middle-easterners they probably prayed to Allah, but who knows, it could’ve been Jesus, Yahweh that listened just as well.

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about what happened all the while glad to read about it cause I know that you’re still okay.

    Take care of yourself Selina…

  9. Welcome to the land of the immortal my dear. I’ve been here a while.

    It’s amazing how much you do within that miniscule timeframe and 90% of it is automatic.

    When I had by bike crash it felt like 30 seconds or more because I distinctly remember weighing up my options in that time and in that time I had worked out that there was only two ways it would play out and I chose the second, throwing the bike to the ground and rolling behind it. Time taken to think all this? No more than a second. Walked away with a broken wrist but better than not walking away.

    It’s scarey as hell but what’s the most amazing thing is how quickly people are there to check up on you. Life and death remains in the balance of split second timing not of your own but of those around you.

    Whether or not God was looking out for you (I do believe in him though) is a matter of debate but I know one thing, if he hadn’t given us free will and the ability to rationalise then none of us would stand a chance.

    I am so happy that you are okay, battered and bruised but otherwise okay. I’m glad the twins still have their mummy, and I’m glad that you are okay enough to share you experiences.

    I’m pretty sure that others here would agree that we wouldn’t know what to do without you.

    Biggie hugs from Down Under.

  10. Hey Selina. I am really glad to hear that you came through alright.After experiencing a few close calls myself, I know that there are probably myriad questions and mixed emotions running through your mind.Take the time to really answer those questions and understand what your feeling.Be thankful for the love and pleasant things in your life and appreciate the kinks ’cause they set the value of all that’s good. There are no such things as “accidents”. It just wasn’t your time, but it happened for a reason so don’t ignore it. Learn from it.

    Smiles 🙂

  11. Dirk: A miracle indeed! I will trek over to your pad to see what’s been happening in your neck of the woods.

    Chico: Thank you!! Do you think it would be okay to combine Twin Fin with my pill cocktail? I’m thinking I might try… 😉

    Steve: I think I would have a heart attack if I saw a jack-knifing tractor trailer coming towards me!! Accidents are very scary, it’s probably the number one cause of death.

    Henry: Yeah there is a very weird period of time between the seconds that you are about to crash and the minute or so afterwards. An eerie unsure silence.

    Macbros: Honestly, with the strength of the pill cocktail I am taking, I don’t even need to drink… But, hey… I could try for fun! 😉 I have said some strange things while under the influence of those pills.

    Zaid: I don’t know which (or who’s) God saved me, but someone HAD to have been looking out for me, because it just doesn’t make sense that I am sitting here right now.

    Rooster: You can say that again!!! I was SO THANKFUL for that!!!! I can’t even imagine…

    Izzy: Thanks!! I am okay! Just happy to be here 😀

    Wookie: Thanks so much!! Hugs back atcha! An accident on a bike must have been extreeeeeemely scary!!! I am amazed by the kindness of strangers though. It really makes me happy to see how quickly people are willing to help, even in a dangerous situation!

  12. NYD: How right you are! I definitely agree. I appreciate everything so much more now. It’s weird, how scares like that give you a new appreciation for the simple things.

  13. Glad to hear all is well. Cars and guard rails can be replaced. People cannot.
    Give your girls a hug.

    Keep well.

  14. Oh my god Selina!!!! I am glad to hear you are ok! I actually lost my brother like that… his car went of a cliff/steep incline 19 years ago, here in Spain…

    So when I know of a good ending, it makes me happy beyond word!!! Your story has me teary eyed… take care of you mamacita! Your babies need their fabulous mama!

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