I awake from a blissful state to the sound of a shrieking banshee who sounds like she’s obviously experiencing some sort of childhood trauma… I rush into the lil’ divas room and rescue said shrieking banshee and her grumpy sister from the confines of their jail-like beds!
Good… All is well right?!
Ummm No!! Diva #1 and Diva #2 begin boxing eachother down and escalate their violence to the point of hair pulling, eye gouging, screaming, pushing, kicking, and headbutting. Mamacita interjects the violence and separates the evil evil children and tries to distract them with toys. BUT THEN… More violence ensues with toy stealing and disputes regarding who is entitled to what toy, who had what first etc etc….
Mamacita is running around trying to get ready for work and now must deal with two miserable bitchy little divas following me, pulling on my pant legs, crying and hitting eachother. “Fuck someone tell me this is a dream”….. *Pinch* Nope… It’s fucking real and I’m going to SNAP Motherfucker! I need to get these ungrateful little spawns to daycare PRONTO before I launch myself out of my bedroom window to my untimely death leaving them to run amok in the house alone and battle it out like Lord of the Flies for superiority!
Bye bye girlies!!! Kiss Kiss… Mama will miss you. Give me a drink… or some uppers, some tweakers, some freakers… Something!! Oh my god i’m late for work. What else is fucking new! Shit… I need gas. Of course! Why wouldn’t I?! Oh great, some of my projects have fallen by the wayside… Awesome!
And… Here I am 4:45, I made it… I made it through the day! I need this day to end though… And actually I need a drink right now! A curiously strong drink! Hopefully the divas will be a little more pleasant!