Dick Nosed Delusions

I think I was attracted to him because he had a dick nose… I was more fascinated with his nose than him. Sometimes I would fantasize about his nose when we had sex… I knew it wasn’t healthy. In the heat of passion a few times, I even blurted out “ooh yah, fuck me with that dick nose baby”. It got weird.

I had to ask myself why I was even into him in the first place… He so wasn’t my type! Was it because his nose looked like a penis? Was it because I hadn’t been laid in over a year before meeting him? Was it because I somehow thought that we would have a kick ass sex life?

In any case… I cared not to explore the reasons why and decided that it was time for dick nose to flop outta my life so that I could carry on with a healthier and more normal sexual outlook.

“Yah, we need to talk.”

{looks down} “It’s about my nose isn’t it? You can’t look past it can you?”

“Ummm, well… that’s ONE way to put it I guess… Look, I just think that this isn’t healthy for me that’s all.”

“What do you mean? Do you want me to get a nose job? Because I will…”

“NO… It’s not that… It’s just that… {sigh}… I wanna give your nose a hand job!”

{long awkward silence}

“I gotta fly now”

“I’m sorry… So sorry Dick, FUCK, I mean Rick!”

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9 thoughts on “Dick Nosed Delusions

  1. Stop!! The in-laws are over!!! I had to scroll down real fast!! I open your link and there is this huge Dick Nose on the screen…

  2. Sorry about the in-laws Steve… hopefully they don’t think you’re a little weird now. 😉

    Dave – you hit the nail on the head!

    Yah, Izzy… I am almost positive that Pinocchio had a dick nose as well… His girly was one lucky broad… Imagine that, all she’d have to do is get him to lie and she would find herself in woody nosed ecstacy… I know, i’m fucked!

  3. again with the plagiarizing of my life????

    …funny ideas usually come from being fucked…

    (uhmmm…that really was meant to be a compliment)

    xoxoxo

  4. Chico – I think you’re right! I took it as a compliment (I think)… 😉

    DC – Well his dick doesn’t smell per say… but he can smell with his dick! Actually nevermind… It’s not a dick, it’s his nose… I just can’t seem to get it right!

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