The Persistent Dildo

She awoke to a peculiar sound at 4:30 am… She squinted and looked at her alarm clock, still hazy with a merlot buzz and slightly off kilter from the extremely erotic, yet strange dream she had just been having which involved a Greek Shepherd boy, Galileo, a Pink T-Shirt with a giant pill on it, and a vat of vintage Chilean wine.

But the merlot buzz, was not the only buzz in the house. Oh no… There was another buzz, a buzz so loud that it disturbed her sleep and forced her to spring from her bed and question it’s origin. She squinted her eyes and tilted her head. Where the fuck was that sound coming from?!

She turned on her bedside lamp… The buzzing seemed to be getting louder. Frantically she began searching her bedroom and immediate surroundings, until a knowing (but slightly annoyed) smile graced her face and she opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out her Emperor 8″ Vibrating Dildo. There it was flopping around in all it’s pink flesh-like glory like a giant bass in the bottom of a fishing boat.

She held the veiny pink fleshy pleasure device in her hands, still sleepy and buzzed. She turned the switch OFF and placed it back in her drawer on top of her French cut lace panties and closed it.

Shortly thereafter, she drifted back to Galileo, the immaculate Shepherd Boy and the vat of vintage Chilean Wine, but was disturbed once again by the Emperor! “Fuck, what a persistent dildo” she thought to herself, as she (again) reached to her nightstand drawer, opened it and pulled out her 8” vibrating dildo to turn it OFF. As she placed the motionless dildo back into the drawer, she sighed before drifting off to sleep.

But not two minutes into her slumber, the Emperor started up again! “OKAY… WHAT THE FUCK?!” she shouted as she grabbed the vibrating 8 inch penis out of the drawer with violent hostility and ONCE AGAIN turned it OFF… Only this time, she didn’t put it back in the drawer… She whipped it as hard as she could against the wall.

Much to her dismay… Upon impact, the dildo’s (very sensitive) ON switch was triggered! Pissed off and ready to throw the fucking thing out the window, she got up, swearing like Sailor Sue and picked up the Emperor from the floor and turned it OFF yet again, and almost broke a fucking nail doing it.

As she climbed back into her bed, she tilted her head and looked at the Emperor with curious eyes… It HAD been a while. Was her dildo trying to tell her something?! She sat on the edge of the bed, then got up slowly (Emperor in hand) and headed for the washroom, where she soaped up and lathered her vibrating friend, then dried it off with care.

Once back in bed, she let the Emperor explore her in a way that could only be described as ORGASMIC! Tired and completely satisfied, she drifted off to sleep, Emperor in hand… Both of them in a slumber so deep that it could not be disturbed by an atomic bomb.

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7 thoughts on “The Persistent Dildo

  1. Hey SeLiNa.

    I gotta stop reading your posts at work!

    Co-worker: Zambo?
    Me: Yes?
    Co-worker: Are you sweating?
    Me: Yes I am. What do you want?
    Co-worker: But it’s so cold in here…
    Me: Did you want something?
    Co-worker: We need your help out back. Do you have a minute?
    Me: OK…I just gotta finish up here…I’ll be there shortly, OK?
    Co-worker: OK. Are you all right? You look kinda flushed…
    Me: I’m fine. I’ll be there shortly, OK?
    (The next few minutes are spent with me thinking of baseball and dying puppies)…

    Anyway, I liked your account of “The Emperor’s New Groove”…(It brought to mind the dildo scenes in “Slums of Beverly Hills” for some reason)…

    OK…I’d better get back to work.

    Take care out there, SeLiNa!

    Your Pal,

    Zambo.

  2. You had me worried there, SeLiNa. But you’re too good a storyteller to tease your readers forever. Thanks for delivering at last. Bzzzzzzzzzzz.

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