Fuck You and Your Two Dollars!

Do you ever find that you just can’t stand people and you don’t know why?! Yesterday when I stopped at the gas station, the same wanker that’s always in there was there once again… I don’t know what it is about this dude, but there is something about him that I just hate… He makes me want to punch his face in. I hate the smirk he always wears, I hate the way he wears his keys around his neck, I hate the way he never understands that I don’t want (or need) the fucking receipt, I hate the soft rock station he listens to every day, and… yeah, I just hate his personality and overall being!

That is horribly judgemental, mean, and unfair… I know… Since he is just a gas station attendant trying to do his job and get by. And not that I have anything against gas station attendants… Everybody has to earn a living. It’s nothing to do with the job, it’s just him!

Yesterday we had a conversation that went like this:

Me: (fakely and trying to force a smile) “hi, how are you today?”
Him: “Oh I Am GREAT! I am going on vacation after today.”
Me: “Beautiful. So today will be a good day!”
Him: “Yep. We rented a cottage on Lake Simcoe, all our stuff is packed.”
Me: (just wanting to pay for my car wash and get the fuck out of there) “nice.”
Me: “Just a car wash today”
Him: (pointing to and tapping the counter sign) “Well normally we charge $2 extra when you’re getting a car wash and no gas… But because i’m going on vacation and i’m feeling extra nice, i’ll give it to you at the gas purchase price.”
Me: (Gee how ever did I get so fucking lucky) “Oh… okay, sure thanks.”
Him: “Just try to remember to get your gas the next time so that you can save yourself from having to pay the extra $2.”
Me: (smiling under gritting teeth) “okay”

What I wanted to say: “Do I look like I give a flying fuck about saving TWO FUCKING DOLLARS you patronizing gas pumping prick?! Do you feel powerful now? Now that you’ve saved me a whole TWO DOLLARS… Am I supposed to feel grateful? Eternally thankful? Like you really went out of your way for me? Well I don’t… Frankly I don’t give a shit either way… Just give me my fucking wash code you smug wanker… And go have another Twinkie while you’re at it.”

I know… Not very nice right?! Trust me… This guy is just one of those guys that you will instantly HATE! It takes a special kind of person to have that affect on people. Tell me it’s not just me… Tell me that you know people like this too… Or even if you don’t know them and just the mere look at them makes you want to stab them repeatedly in the eyelid with a Bic ballpoint pen.

I’m gonna go do some yoga now and make myself a cup of tea… I can’t believe I wasted a blog entry talking about that waste of a human life!


16 thoughts on “Fuck You and Your Two Dollars!

  1. It’s very sad but so utterly real. That person you want to give a kick in the teeth when they are nice to you. In fact what you reallly want is for them not to exist at all or at least never ever be aloud to interact with you.Fighting doesn’t help. You did the only thing availeble to you…grinning and bearing it.

  2. That guy sounds like one of my team leaders (that’s right I said ONE OF).

    When I first became a field engineer I had never met this guy before and I asked who he was and what he did and they told me and I thought they were crapping me but they weren’t.

    But right from the get go there was something I didn’t like about him. Maybe it was the fact that I was a new engineer (well at least at that site) and he never actually introduced himself to me despite being one of my team leaders.

    Either way most of what he does confirms my initial thoughts, especially last year when the smug bastard tried to threaten me, then later in the year he gave me a written warning which I made him look bad.

    Needless to say I feel for you man. I understand your feelings.

  3. Your not the only one, I have met a lot of people I instantly hate. For many reasons, snot snorkling pusin zit covered people are the worst.

  4. I have known people like that, and it really sucks. I don’t like hating people for no reason, but some people just get on your nerves just by breathing.

  5. you are not the only one. a former member(a bully) of the office team showed up at my branch yesterday. i immediatly felt like saying “what the f**k are you doing here?” i didn’t. we never were able to get along before the supervisor had her transfered out. her work style was to walk aroung with her hands in her pockets, delegate her tasks to people working on other projects. go outside to have a cigarette every hour and harass the local bums. everyone was behind on their projects, yet her’s were always on time and complete. she’d sugar everyone up to get their help, with exception of me. then say nothing when the rest of us were bitched at. i finally exploded in my supervisors office.(forgetting how thin the walls were)oh, by the way when i arrived yesterday, she was outside having a cigarette, harassing the bums. some things never change.

  6. dude, why the feck did you say “hi, how are you today?”. Just say “HELLO” in a loud tone (to let him know you don’t want to talk to him, you just wanna get back to your real life).

    Really, it’s like you invited the bad karma on ya self, like your getting into way of your own life.

  7. I sell car wash soap for a living. (God’s honest truth)

    His boss would have his hide for the “2 bucks”.

    Also as a former “car wash attendant” in high school and college, (yes, I am in the industry of my first high school job, with a degree in music no less) cell phones became quite popular in the mid 90’s down here and the best way yo ignore the car wash or gas attendant: get on the cell phone and say the ever ambiguous “Um… well, that’s fine” a lot until he is unsure if you meant yes or no, so he questions it, then tell him no.

    I have been on both sides of the ball, I know man… I know.

  8. Hey there, we’re all brothers and sisters in this world. What if that someone talking about one of your loved ones? How they want to kick in your loved ones teeth, just for being friendly. Isn’t that pretty harsh? What if that guy were to read what you said about him? It would really hurt him. You have no idea what kind of life this guy has had and you have no idea what this guy may be going through in his life. See each other as brothers and sisters in this world, and you have a much lowered blood pressure. We’re all the same on the inside, at our core, we are all just looking for love and acceptance…

    Be gentler with your brothers and sisters…
    Seek to love, instead of looking for things to hate, y’know?

    Well, that’s all I wanted to say. I realize you are just trying to be humorous, but there’s a little something deeper in your words that you should take a look at. And those that agree with you and laugh, it wouldn’t hurt them to take a step back and look at why they think this is so funny.

    peace to ya..

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