I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse!


She said: “well if you can’t live without me, then why are you still alive?”

He said: “well at first I thought I was walking my dog, but then I noticed it was just you!”

She said: “your face is so ugly, that I am almost fascinated with it.”

He said: “you’re nothing but a trellis for varicose veins.”

She said: “yah well your face is filled with broken commandments!”

He said: “well I normally never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception!”

She said: “is that a beard on your face, or are you eating a muskrat?”

He said: “you’re so ugly you could make a mule back away from an oat bin.”

She said: “you know so little… and yet know it so fluently!”

He said: “and you… you never open your mouth without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”

She said: “I think failure has gone to your head…”

He said: “you have such grand delusions of adequacy don’t you…”

She said: “you know… I think you’re just one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.”

He said: “I will always love the false image I had of you.”

She said: “I’ve had a wonderful evening… this wasn’t it”.


10 thoughts on “I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse!

  1. I knew a couple that spoke like that to each other. They were a pefect match, as they weren’t making two more people miserable!

  2. Missing: “You talk so much…yet you say so little”.

    I see you avoided “You act just like your mother”.

  3. I love the title of this post. By the way, this is how my wife and I talk to each other all the time.

  4. Was out last night with a few of my mates, went over to this bird and started chatting with her, bought her a few drinks like, all going well and then I asked her is she wished to accompany me home

    “I wouldnt shag you if you were the last person alive” she said.

    I replied “If i was the last person alive lovely, you’d be dead and wouldnt be able to stop me!”

  5. You should give credit to Woody Allen while using his quote. It’s only fair.

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