All The Barry’s

[Crowd Chants: “Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry”]

A roar of applause and cheering falls over the audience when the man himself, Jerry Springer emerges on stage.

Jerry nods his head in acknowledgement of his legendary status.

“Okay so let’s welcome our first guest, Barry. Barry says that he caught his girlfriend of 3 years Laquifa cheating with another man in his own home, in his very bed.”

[Crowd boos]

Jerry looks sympathetically at Barry and softens his tone;

“So that must have been pretty devastating for you then Barry, to see your woman with another man like that.”

“Well Jerry… she’s a trick-ass HO… she’s gone spread them nasty legs a hers for another man then she can get right to it Jerry. I’ll find myself another pussy to whip!”

{stands up and makes whipping motions)

{Crowd laughs and cheers)

“Okay, so you haven’t seen this other man yet then?”

“OH HELL NO Jerry…”

“Please welcome Barry to the show”

Barry stands up confused… looks around and sees another man emerge on stage. Barry looks at the other guest, a skinny small framed man with a missing tooth and says;

“What you mean you Barry too?”

“Damn straight… Guess you weren’t Barry enough for her!” he says with a ghetto grin & slur.

[Steve jumps on stage and splits up scuffle between the two Barry’s]

Jerry settles the audience after a 5 minute interlude of tits and swearing

“Please welcome Laquifa to the show”

[Enter Laquifa to a booing crowd] The crowd laughs at her, when they get an eyeful. Her big monstrous titties are sagging down to her belly button and her denim booty shorts expose a plethora of cottage cheese!

The Barry’s start fighting again. Sensor beeps all over the place. Laquifa rips off her halter top and shoes… Runs over to Barry #1 and jumps on his back. She bites his shoulder and draws blood. Barry #2 tries to get her out of the way and elbows her big titty in the process, which pisses her off even more, and turns her into a buffalo on a rampage.

After another 5 minutes of swearing, fighting and tits… The audience settles.

“Okay Barry, so what do you wanna say to your girlfriend?”

“Jerry… She’s a WHORE!!! She been with ALL THE BARRY’S… She been with Straw Barry, she been with BLUE Barry, she been with BUR Barry, she been with Razz Barry…”

[Barry stands up, points to himself and gyrates his hips in a forward thrusting motion]

“And she been with BLACK BARRY!!

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14 thoughts on “All The Barry’s

  1. He,he,he…What a halarious post!

    Your creative writing skills are awesome. You should consider writing a script or a book?

  2. Thanks Izzy… Writing is my life and life is my writing! I actually do have an unpublished novel… Working on getting it published. I am in the process of writing a 2nd book as we speak.

    Craig: I was just about to defend myself there until I realized you said “verbal”.

  3. Hey SeLiNa.

    Another really funny post!

    I could picture it all as though it were an actual episode of Springer Gold…

    “After another 5 minutes of swearing, fighting and tits” reminded me of my college days…

    Good work, SeLiNa!

    Take care out there!

    Your Pal,

    Zambo.

  4. Is it just me or do your stories get stranger and stranger. . . hehe. still a fun read!

  5. For some reason, my mind immediately generated a vision of a fat black chick with a huge denim ass… I did not like that thought. Damn you… Damn you all to hell!!

    🙂

  6. I loved it! The funny part is I can so see it happening and for a while you had me wondering if it had happened!

    You fooled a bohemian! *GASPETTY GASP*

  7. you mean this wasn’t an actual episode? sounds like it to me.

    I like to watch an episode every 6 moths or so, just to remind myself how bad i am not doing!

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