Crossing Lines



“Operator”
“Hi can I get the number for Rob Wilson please?” “What city?”

“I don’t know… Toronto maybe… Or try Mississauga!” “Well sir I need the city. Do you have the address or a postal code?”

“NO I DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING ADDRESS… What’s your address?” “Sir I’m just trying to help you, no need to get upset.”

“I press zero on the phone thinking that y’all will be able to do your job… and get a phone number for me… That is your job isn’t it? To get phone numbers for people? To help people that press zero on the phone?” “Sir nothing is coming up for Toronto… or Mississauga… I’m sorry.”

“So, then fuck, do a province wide search then. I’m not even a fucking operator and I have to tell you how to do your job. This is FUCKED!! All I want is to get motherfucking Rob Wilson’s phone number number and that is IT. Please just do your job and give me the number!” “Sir speaking to me in that tone is not going to help the situation.”

“Yah you know what would help the situation? If you could do your fucking job, that’s what would help the situation. Just get me the goddamn number, I don’t care how, just do it.” “Sir, I will probably get fired for this, and I’ve never had the urge to say this to anyone before, but GO FUCK YOURSELF ASSHOLE…. You’re a real fucking prick ya know that?! Have a nice day fuckface!” {click}

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7 thoughts on “Crossing Lines

  1. This is the fantasy of anyone who has ever in customer service. It’s so hard to be nice to all of the assholes who think that they can do your job.

    Good to see that you are writing like crazy. Keep it up!

  2. I actually know a Rob Wilson that lives in Toronto, hehe.

    I was bored out of my tree today and maybe a little on the edge of going insane, so I decided to browse through your archives and count how many times you used the word FUCK and its derivatives.

    From May 2005 to May 2006, the grand total was approximately 452. That is a lot of fucking “fuck” words.

    Here is a little history I found on the web about its usage:

    Early usage

    Its first known use as a verb meaning to have sexual intercourse as in “Flen flyys” some time before 1500.

    William Dunbar’s 1503 poem “Brash of Wowing” includes the lines: “Yit be his feiris he wald haif fukkit:/ Ye brek my hairt, my bony ane.”

    Some time around 1600, before the term acquired its current meaning, “windfucker” was an acceptable name for the bird now known as the kestrel.

    While Shakespeare never used the term explicitly, he hinted at it in comic scenes in several plays. The Merry Wives of Windsor (IV.i) contains focative case (see vocative case). In Henry V (IV.iv), Pistol threatens to firk (strike) a soldier, a euphemism for fuck.

    In the small villages in almost all English-speaking countries this word was widely used with current primary meaning (ex. “Fuck off”, “Fucking …”, etc).

    And who says learning isn’t fucking fun?!

  3. ha ha ha!!! craig… that was awesome! just classic!

    funny i chose rob wilson because i didn’t wanna use john smith or something more obvious… lol

  4. I constantly deal with people who think they can do my job, yet they still called me. I can truly relate to the operator. Tell ’em where to shove it.

  5. Hi SeLiNa.

    That was a good one, as usual…

    All I can think of at the moment is what the little girls used to sing while they were skipping when I was a kid…A variation on the “Miss Susie had a steamboat” song…I just looked it up and all the lyrics are different than I remember them…I suspect it was transfered by word-of-mouth and some of it got lost in the translation…What I remember was:

    Mary had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell
    Mary went to heaven
    The steamboat went to…
    Hell-o operator
    Please give me number 9
    And if you disconnect me
    I’ll kick you right…
    Behind the yellow curtain
    There was a piece of glass
    When Mary sat upon it,
    She hurt her little…
    Ask me no more questions
    Please tell me no more lies
    The boys are in the bathroom
    Pulling down their…
    Flies are in the city
    The bees are in the park
    The boys and girls are necking in the D-A-R-K dark…

    I guess this was the localized variation of the original…I think the image of Operator Nine triggered this memory…

    Weird…

    I think that’s it for now…

    Take care out there, SeLiNa!

    Your Pal,

    Zambo.

    P.S.
    Did you have a similar skipping song as a kid? I wonder if it was popular…

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