Yo Mama

There’s nothing like some good old fashioned YO MAMA jokes!! It’s been years since I heard any of these classics… And tonight, I could use a laugh, so here we go:

Yo mama so fat we’re in her right now
Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says “we don’t do livestock.”
Yo mama so fat God couldn’t light the Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave!
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection
Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
Yo mama so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower!
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

So, just to recap… yo mama is fat, nasty, greasy, and fucking ugly!! Not quite MILF material…


12 thoughts on “Yo Mama

  1. You mamma is so ugly, I pressed her face in cookie dough and made gorilla cookies.


    Yes, this is from the Buddhist.


    hope all is well with you, Selina.

  2. I must confess, i’ve never found “Yo Mama” jokes even remotely funny. But thats just me.

  3. TJ dosn’t like the jokes cause his mama’s so fat, when she gos to the zoo, the elephants start throwing peanuts at her

  4. -Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
    -Bitch is so fat Jenny Craig did a credit check on her.
    -Fucking girls so fat, when she fell off the boat, the captain yelled ” Land Ho”.
    Lol, lol, lol
    Fuck I can go for dayz with this shit. You know me selina. 🙂

  5. Ahhh you guys are good!! Glad i’m not the only one who shares an appreciation for some wholesome old skool yo mama jokes!!

    Good stuff here… Feel free to keep em’ coming. I’ll never get tired of hearing them.

  6. Hey SeLiNa.

    You had a lot of good ones there!

    Here’s one from my childhood hero, Dr. Dirty, John Valby:

    Your mother’s so dry, the crabs carry canteens…

    That’s all I got…

    Take care out there, lovely SeLiNa!

    Your Pal,


  7. SELINA AND ZAMBO THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO HOT! ohhhhhhhhhh my god the one about the batism of mexico, and the elelphants and the peanuts, fuck me! That was HOT!!!You guys kick major ‘Your mama’ ass! mad luv from all us africans in Kenya!!
    Try this: Yo mama’s ass is so big that when she backs up, you be hearin’beep”beep’ beep’!!!

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