Okay… So i’m still sick, still bitchy, and still on a bitchy rampage… I’m not in the mood to post about kittens and lollipops, but I will post about a bitch I should’ve slapped on Saturday. I’m only half serious here by the way, before you start sending me anger management workshop information.
Here I go…
An open letter to the Australian medical receptionist whore in the doctor’s office I had the misfortune of meeting on Saturday:
Dear Shitty Bitter Sheila…
Remember me?! Yah… I’m the mother of the two lil’ divas that you were so quick to comment on, calling it “a shame” that I have twins! I am sorry I didn’t tell you this when I saw you in person, I really should have… But I just couldn’t be bothered at the time and all I could do was stare at your ugly fucking mug in disbelief.
But that was then, this is now.
So, let me get this straight… because your sister has two little wanker 5 year old boys that happen to be twins… You think it’s a shame for anyone huh?! Do I sense some sibling resent?! I think so… Your sister’s annoying little faggots got all the attention didn’t they?! While your little crusty singleton offspring ate paste and got stuck using the brown crayon at school.
Not only was your comment fucking rude, but it was also absolutely ridiculous!
Consider this, bitch… Identical twins happen every 3 in 1000 births. Which means what?! Which means that my superior fertile womanly body is fucking special that’s what… Your sister doesn’t have identical twins… they are fraternal… they are boys… perhaps even a result of fertility drugs… and they are obviously a couple of little inbred penises for you to have this skewed opinion of yours. So not only do I feel LUCKY to have adorable identical twin girls, but I feel blessed and not for ONE SECOND would I ever think of them as “a shame”.
So go back to your medical filing bitch… the next time you see them will be from your living room as you’re watching them through the screen of your television… Wondering what your life “could have been” as you *sigh* thinking about your $27K a year medical receptionist job while you watch your little retard kid try to add 2+2 using popsicle sticks.
In a couple of years maybe my girlies will pay you a visit. You won’t know when though… All you will see on that day is 4 little pig tails with pink skulls bouncing side to side walking in front of your desk. They will come around to your side so you can see their “shameful” faces… They’ll bat their adorably cute eyelashes at you forcing a smile out of your battered botoxed face, then you’ll be struck with two ninja stars adorned with pink glitter and smiley faces! My girlies will laugh, spit on you and then casually walk out the front door blowing bubbles with their Pink watermelon Bubbalicious gum!
Sleep tight bitch!