Things I Hate

Those little annoying curly haired yapper dogs that never shut the fuck up, neighbours who selfishly mow their lawns at 7am on a Saturday morning, waitresses who say “what can I get you hon?”, bars that water down their drinks, people who aren’t capable of having an intelligent conversation and can only talk about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, people who think you only live to hear about their lame ass underachieving kids, eating a hot dog that you continue to taste by way of burp for the next 6 hours, backhanded compliments, the stupid fucking “bling culture” that seems to be rampant in our society, old people who think the world owes them something, celebrity idolization, people who are incapable of communicating effectively, the way you get treated by the corporate world when you are pregnant, the excessive greed and overeating demonstrated at an all you can eat buffet, pantyhose, that red headed know it all little brat Daniel Cook who doesn’t deserve his own show, the sound of not one but two miserable screaming babies, waxing my bikini line (fucking ouch), small talk, smiling when I don’t feel like it, floors that aren’t hardwood, that bitter bone chilling cold that makes your nostrils stick together, bad pick up lines and flirting strategies exhibited by complete wankers, people who are completely fucked up on religion, religions that completely fuck people up, tweens that dress like whores, mothers who let their young girls dress like prostitots, fake ass people in the office who pretend to laugh at unfunny jokes and have their noses lodged snugly right up their boss’s ass, mind numbing stupid ass television and blockbuster movies with weak plots, anything on the radio that resides on the AM band, time and everything it stands for, social expectations, politically correct anything, chicks who just wanna compete with you when you really couldn’t give a flying fuck, plants that die, relatives and friends that die, gender discrimination, books that suck donkey balls and sell millions of copies, the fact that Oprah is more powerful than god, people who can’t think for themselves, burnt toast, buying a CD that only has 2 good tracks on it, family feuds, and finding pieces of shell in my fried eggs in the morning.

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11 thoughts on “Things I Hate

  1. Hey SeLiNa.

    That’s quite the list! Nice one!

    I think you should move forward with that Oprah shirt idea you had mentioned before. (At worst, it would lead to some publicity. I don’t think The Oprah would have you killed)…

    Take care out there!

    Your Pal,

    Zambo.

  2. Wow, that is some list. Most of us hate those things too. I hate anyone driving with a cellphone attached to their ears and those mean little old ladies that shove a cart in your face when you walk into a Walmart!

  3. I’m amazed at the breadth you cover here! I hate everything in that list too (and more), but how did you think of it all? I’d be compiling that thing for months before it was done.

  4. Love and agree with all on your list. I’d like to add: High stakes test for little kids, chicken pox, dating, parents who think they should be in charge of schools, and Ryan Seacrest.

  5. I pretty much hate everything on that list too.

    As for the cellphone car thing it’s illegal here in New Zealand but I see cops doing it all the time.

    What’s more they are trying to promote something they call “Dob A Driver” where they try to promote us telling on bad drivers. Guess what method that employs?

    I’ll give you a clue, it involves and illegal (in New Zealand) action.

    Can you say “clap clap for the handicap”? I knew you could.

    Why don’t cops think thing through very well? Officer Friendly, can you help out on that one? I’m picking it’s the desk jockeys making these bullshit ideas. Would that be a fair assumption?

  6. I love you.
    Sent here by my friend Martha because I’m having a pissy day and I want nothing more than pure violence right now thanks to an annoying client and an asshole boss/company owner.

    *deep sigh*

    Yes, thank you for posting that.

  7. “Prostitots”. That made me laugh and clap my hands like a little girl.

    Which, I suppose, is appropriate.

    AB

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