Toys That Never Made it to Market

Okay… now where was this when I was making those shitty little cakes with a fucking 60 Watt lightbulb??? I could have been tweakin’ and bakin’ for days with no sleep, no food and no breaks… This is a toy for the entrepreneurial kids. This toy promotes good business skills, creativity, and a healthy diet.

I’ve played this game… many many times (years ago). In fact I was a Beta tester for the game. But then, when John Candy died and I was admitted to emergency for a mild stroke, the executives decided to go back to the drawing board. Fucking pricks left me hangin’ too.

If this one was modified slightly… like the ring became a ranch and the robots became cowboys… it could work. I’m thinkin’ it’d be a number one seller actually.


15 thoughts on “Toys That Never Made it to Market

  1. It’s official: you’re demented! Although, I am willing to be a silent financial partner in the Brokeback Bump ‘Em Humpem ‘Em robots you mentioned. I think we’d make a killing!

  2. yes i am demented… i know. it’s a wonder i’ve survived 27 years with this brain of mine (well… not all of the brain cells made it… may the others rest in peace).

    macbros… i don’t have the actual game anymore, but my pal downtown leroy brown might be able to help. want his pager #?

  3. Leroy Brows Pager # ey’?
    Do you know if all the condiments are still included? Like the 40ozers, coke, women, and all night parties? I’ll throw out the cigs though, I don’t smoke, them things are bad for ya’ 😛

  4. actually leroy specializes in condiments only… he moonlights as a pimp too and can probably hook ya up with a piece of ass if ever needed… high class escort girls. just don’t show them your condiments.

  5. I say patent these things immediately!

    I had an idea for Beach-in-a-Box. A little box full of beach sand that cubicle dwellers could scrunch their toes in at work. I recently read someone is now selling it.

    Damn theives!

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