The 80s: A Total Fucking Trainwreck!


Above: Me rockin’ my new “I Hate The 80s” tee

Remember tails? Yeah… You do don’t you?! If you were new wave you had a tail, if you were rock you had a mullet. And then of course there were banana clips, side pony tails, teased hair, perms, and those horrible (let’s see how high we can get them) bangs.

I get nostalgic about the 80s as much as the next kat… But do I want acid washed jeans, leg warmers and neon coming back? HELL NO!!! Do I want to see a bunch of chicks wearing multi-coloured slouch socks and 3/4 leggings tramping around the mall with faux (eye liner) beauty moles? Not so much!!

Porn went from high class film to videotape (Beta & VHS), bringing the industry to it’s knees (those who weren’t already on their knees of course). People wore fucking painters hats with flaps at the back!!! The music industry went bananas with the synthesizer and chicks wearing tight stone-washed jeans were struttin’ banana lips! What was with the 80s banana fascination anyway??? Banana clips… Banana Republic… Banana lips!

So, why do we need to rehash all of these horrible 80s trends?! What the hell… We need something NEW people!!! We haven’t had any new fashion or music genres since the death of the rave scene! Are we so hurting for innovation that we have to bring back shit from the tackiest decade in history?! Sure there were (a small handful of) good things that were born in the 80s… But for the most part the 80s was just a total fucking trainwreck!!

As a matter of fact, I just purchased a t-shirt that says “I Hate The 80s”. I should get it in the mail this week and will post a photo!

I’m not the only one who thinks the 80s sucked donkey balls…

This site was put together guy was born in the 80s and still thinks it was a crap decade! Insightful lad!

apparently the 80s just downright make people angry. Like the guy (I found here) who said this:

You are as stupid as fuck! ohhh, 80s rules do they??? NO FUCKING WAY… THEY SUCKED SO FUCKING BAD!!!!!!! I don’t consider stretch pants good clothes at all… Neither do I consider a keyboard and a lead singer a good band!!!! Get your fucking head straight… The 80s SUCKED… And your little disco rips didn’t do any good either. DISCO RULED. Disco was about dancing and happiness. The shitty 80s was about shit! 80s suck 80s suck 80s suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!When you finally get with the 80s suck times (late 90s and early 00s and FOREVER) e-mail me and maybe we can talk!

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14 thoughts on “The 80s: A Total Fucking Trainwreck!

  1. The 80s were horrible. I was teenager during that time. Mainstream music was a joke, although, it is much worse today. At least we had trash metal during the late 80s. Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax and all of that other good stuff.

    I knew a guy who had a tail down to his butt and used to dye it blonde, lol. He was actaully a nice guy even though his hair style was a bit…uh…trendy.

  2. Ha ha!! Johnie that picture is hillarious!!!

    Steve you are right about Canadian mullets, since hockey is our national sport, we have the unfortunate fashion mishaps that go along with that title (ie. hockey hair otherwise known as mullets).

    The 80s is horrible… It just needs to go away and not rear it’s ugly head anymore!!!

    There does seem to be a lack of cultural innovation lately though no?

  3. Umm, you are my personal hero, today, i was just walking down the street and I saw, what i think, was leg warmers, fucking A….horrible fashion…the hair…man o man…

  4. I must’ve missed the memo stating ’80’s fashion was making a comeback. Is this true??

    Let’s hope they forget the pastel and neon colors and those tshirts with tails. Oh man…we’ll all be fashion roadkill again.

    I think I still have an oversized belt and a jean jacket somewhere in the back of the closet…yikes!

  5. I remember the 80’s I was 5 going on 14 that’s ten years of my life I want back people.

    I remember the 80’s on account of the things I did that should have killed me but didn’t. I ended the 80’s in 1990 which saw me break my arm after playing ball tag on a balcony. Good times good times.

    I had a haircut that consisted of very curly hair that makes Lingo’s straight by comparison. I didn’t do anything to it it just grew that way. Everyone loved my curls except for me. Cut them off I told the barber but my mother intercepted and I had to keep the bastards. Incidentally my haircut in the 90’s was worse. OMFG were they worse.

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