Dickey-Wearing Dickheads

Haven’t seen one of these in a while huh… Thought they were dead? Yeah, so did I… And I was absolutely horrified to not only discover that Dickeys still exist (and haven’t all been burned in a massive gasoline fuelled bonfire along with leg warmers and ugly sweaters with patches of leather) but that people still buy them AND WEAR THEM! I am dead fucking serious about this… I shit you not!

These are some ACTUAL testimonials from some ACTUAL dickey wearing people taken from this website that sells dickeys!!

we were so happy with the dickeys that you sent that we must order a bunch more. We would like one each in the following nine colors… Dee and Chuck

Okay… Dee, Chuck, we need to have a talk! Why the fuck are you buying matching dickeys? What’s up with that? And NINE OF THEM??? This is out of control. What the fuck do you need NINE dickeys for??? I don’t even understand why you need ONE let alone NINE! You two are fucked!!! Seriously… I hope you two haven’t infected the world with any dickey-wearing offspring!

I got my package today! They look great! Scott will be thrilled. Thanks a bunch. Crystal

Where do I know you from? Oh… You’re the one that bought the Cougar Model Camel Toe Cup!! That’s right, I remember. I gave you a discount on the Velcro Mullet for your beloved Scott. Poor Scott… Pretending to like the fucking ugly dickeys you buy him just so he can get a piece of your trife dickey-buying trailer whore ass! You masturbate to Tiffany don’t you?!

The dickeys arrived today and I am very pleased with the quality and your service. Just in time for an expected ice storm tomorrow (ugh!) Thanks

How about a down-filled parka and a scarf? Ever thought of that? What do you think? I know it sounds crazy, but they have been proven effective against harsh weather conditions! A FUCKING DICKEY isn’t going to protect you from shit in an Ice Storm you cockmastering uncle fucker! What is wrong with you?

I can’t spend any more time thinking about these dickey-wearing dickheads!!! I’m out!


7 thoughts on “Dickey-Wearing Dickheads

  1. Light the candles, lube up the dildo… “could have been so beautiful, could have been so…”

    yeah, it doesn’t work!

    You meant “who DOES own a dick, but not a dickey” right? If not, i’m confused…

  2. Here is Tiffany. Gotta love that acid washed denim outfit!

    When I say “masturbating to Tiffany”, I am of course referring to her music… Which is DREADFUL! I’m sure there’s lots of chicken chokers out there slappin’ it to her photo!

    She’s actually not a bad looking broad, but her music… Well, let’s just say it makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a ballpoint pen!

  3. I think Dickies will eventually cause more harm than good to the world. I am sure they are responsible for more than their share of dispair.

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