Gifts NOT To Buy This Christmas

Yeah I said Christmas, that’s right, you heard me!!! It’s coming! I know you’re thinking “what a bitch, bringing up something that’s still over a month away”. Well I am doing this purely out of love! I don’t want any of my lovely readers to end up; in the dog house, punched in the face, kicked out on their ass, having their stocking peed in, or having to eat Christmas pudding!! I just want to help!

Some people buy some pretty fucked up Christmas gifts! I know this, because I’ve received some of them. My sister used to work for a shipping company that would occasionally have dirt cheap sales (like we’re talking $1 and $2 items), so she would end up with gobs of tampons, hand cream, facial cleanser, and personal lubricant. For some reason (and I don’t know why) she ended up with a trunk full of KY Jelly one year… and being the poor college student that she was, decided to give them to people as stocking stuffers!! Yeah… that’s great, thanks!! Krystal if you’re reading this… DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!! I’ll buy my own thank you!! And FYI – I use Astroglide anyway!!! 😉

Here is a list of some things that you probably shouldn’t buy your loved ones this CHRISTMAS (*gasp* I said it again):

A Combination Douche / Enema / Water Bottle System

Fecal Incontinence Collection Bags

The Cleancut Pubic Hair Shaver

Small Pecker Condoms

ManDelay – Premature Ejaculation Prevention

So if you’re thinking of making your gifts a little more interesting this year… DON’T!! Stick to books, ties, sweaters, socks, chocolates, and cookies! People are comfortable with that! Just because you can get 50 packs of ManDelay for free when you are ordering your life size blow up doll, doesn’t mean that you should give them out as gifts!!!

Shop carefully!!
Selina xoxo

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11 thoughts on “Gifts NOT To Buy This Christmas

  1. Nick: Have you ever thought of getting into the advertising business? You should! It’s catchy and it rhymes!! The folks at ManDelay would be all over it!!

  2. I’ve found some of these products more than amusing, but actually might be useful (though not personally cuz I’ve never tried them, really never, I wouldn’t lie about a thing like that… ahem… and I’ll most likely ramble on about them in an upcoming entry, so thanks for the babble-food 🙂

  3. Gurgle, Gurgle, Gurgle

    I could sort hear it in my head, so I thought I would share with everyone.

    I know you are all happy about it.

    Ben O.

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