How “a beer” Turns Into Much More

So I’m sitting here having a couple of drinks (fuck off it’s happy hour and it’s a Friday okay) procrastinating from writing my book and reading Modern Drunkard Magazine, when I came across this hillarious and accurate portrayal of a typical evening of drinking with a dude who stops in the bar for “a quick one” on the way home from work. I almost choked on my drink from laughing so hard.

Here’s how it starts:

5:45 p.m. You’ll just stop in the bar for a quick one after work.

6:10 p.m. Just one more beer to relieve the stress. I mean, it was a pretty rough day. Goddamn boss was riding your ass like a cheap pony.

6:31 p.m. For an adult your size moderate drinking is two to three drinks a day. And moderate drinking prevents heart attacks. Might as well give your heart a little extra kick.

7:11 p.m. Those beers are making you sluggish. Have a Beam and Coke to pick you up a bit, then you’’ll head straight home and catch Seinfeld.

7:45 p.m. Fuck, missed the first half of Seinfeld. Might as well have one more Beam and Coke, the last one was pretty weak.

8:21 p.m. Hey, there’’s the guys! They want to do a shot. If you don’’t they’ll think you’’re a pussy. Nothing wrong with a quick drink with the guys.

8:35 p.m. Goddamn tequila! Need a brew to wash that one down. What a great buncha guys. You yell, “Who’’s buying the next round, ya buncha pussies!””

Laughing yet? Read the rest here!


5 thoughts on “How “a beer” Turns Into Much More

  1. Cheers to you!! Beer definitely helps make the day seem rosier on those days when you feel like taking a heavy dose of Fukitol.

  2. Yeah… that’s what happens when you’re a hot single female who likes to drink!

    This exact same story would have been totally different if you replaced the guy with a woman. She would have ended up passed out (eventually), but only after having sex with the guy who bought her her drinks all night and she would have perhaps passed out in front of a TV, only it would have been off and would have been in “his” bedroom… The next day she would wake up, give him a fake number and say “call me”, punish herself on the way home while trying to remember his name, and then the following Friday do it all over again!


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