So I’m sitting here having a couple of drinks (fuck off it’s happy hour and it’s a Friday okay) procrastinating from writing my book and reading Modern Drunkard Magazine, when I came across this hillarious and accurate portrayal of a typical evening of drinking with a dude who stops in the bar for “a quick one” on the way home from work. I almost choked on my drink from laughing so hard.
Here’s how it starts:
5:45 p.m. You’ll just stop in the bar for a quick one after work.
6:10 p.m. Just one more beer to relieve the stress. I mean, it was a pretty rough day. Goddamn boss was riding your ass like a cheap pony.
6:31 p.m. For an adult your size moderate drinking is two to three drinks a day. And moderate drinking prevents heart attacks. Might as well give your heart a little extra kick.
7:11 p.m. Those beers are making you sluggish. Have a Beam and Coke to pick you up a bit, then you’ll head straight home and catch Seinfeld.
7:45 p.m. Fuck, missed the first half of Seinfeld. Might as well have one more Beam and Coke, the last one was pretty weak.
8:21 p.m. Hey, there’s the guys! They want to do a shot. If you don’t they’ll think you’re a pussy. Nothing wrong with a quick drink with the guys.
8:35 p.m. Goddamn tequila! Need a brew to wash that one down. What a great buncha guys. You yell, “Who’s buying the next round, ya buncha pussies!”
Laughing yet? Read the rest here!