Quirkitry Exposed

My good pal Ben-O over in Colorado has tagged me to participate in a fine experiment in human quirkitry. Basically I am going to spill my beans here and tell you all of my weird little quirks. Hopefully you will still be my friend when I am finished.

Here goes it:

1.) I am a compulsive changer. It sometimes takes me about 5 or 6 outfit changes to be happy with what I am wearing. I must coordinate everything from my shoes, to my necklace and my hair. I often change throughout the day (ie – early morning athletic, out on the town wear, lounge wear… That type of thing). The weird thing is that apparently I have been doing this since I was a toddler. I was (and still am) a compulsive changer! This is not only reflected in my clothing, it is also reflected in my hairstyles. I am always doing something to my hair, whether it’s a new hair style, some funky-ass hair accessory or just a completely different colour. One day I will post a collage of the many many different looks I’ve rocked over the past two years so you can see it for yourself. What is my problem?! Hmmm I wonder.

2.) I am horribly afraid (don’t laugh) of spiders and bugs of any sort. I think it stems from two things; A.) when I saw the movie arachnophobia and B.) when I was laying in my bed on a hot summer day (window open) and looked up at the ceiling. At the precise moment I opened my eyes, a large Black beetle fell from my ceiling and landed on my leg. I screamed… Waking everybody in the house up and refused to sleep in my bed (or bedroom) for two weeks and only after an intensive top-to-bottom search operation followed by a cleaning that would make Mr. Clean look like a pig. But… I do love camping! Figure that one out?!

3.) Sometimes when doing every day things (like cleaning the house or making some food) I will break out in spontaneous dance. It might be the robot, it might be the bus stop… or even the chicken dance… Or, it might be me shaking my ass in an attempt to mock the horribly generic dancers on whatever music video I might be (unfortunately and involuntarily) catching on MuchMusic at the time. When I go out dancing, I usually wear the most retarded shoes I can think of (that leave me limping in pain) and end up dancing on a sticky club floor in my bare feet (usually after “quite” a few drinks) just so that I can dance! I love to dance!!

4.) I come up with insulting names for the neighbours on my street that I hate. There’s a few of them. When I drive past them I smile and laugh as I think about their nickname. So far the names are; Mary Tyler Whore (she’s a desperate housewife who sooo wants to shag my man), Nacho Man (her fat lazy husband who is also known as Rain Man because he ONLY plays baseball in the rain… And has only done it 3 times EVER in his life), Rendez Losers (because they own one of those Rendez Vous vehicles that I hate) and Baldor (because he’s bald and thinks he’s a cool badass or something). There are a lot of bald people who are indeed cool and don’t even have to try, not him though, he’s a loser and deserves to be called Baldor! Then finally there are the annoying little faggot boys we like to call Rod & Todd (think Ned Flanders kids), these two little tinkerbells are the offspring of Nacho Man & Mary Tyler Whore.

5.) When I am driving in my car I often put on tunes that I love and sing at the top of my lungs!! I don’t care who’s looking. When I’m in a good mood it’s usually something like Jamiroquai (Blow My Mind) and when I’m feeling like a piece of shit it might be something depressing like R.E.M. (Everybody Hurts). I usually get a few laughs from people at lights or sometimes double takes from people who think I might be yelling. I’m sure that some people think that I have severe mental problems or something… I also have road rage. I swear like a trucker when people cut me off, I flip people off, I cut them off, and I become an evil bitch when people piss me off on the road! I have whipped pennies (kept in the cup holder specifically for this purpose) at people who piss me off! I will cut in front of them and get close enough to whip them out of my window or sunroof and then laugh as they are caught off guard when the pennies hit their windshield in a brilliant display of copper glory! I like revenge.

Rather than tag anyone specifically… I would like to invite you to spill your beans in the comments section telling me some of your most endearing quirks. Come on… I won’t tell anybody, I swear!

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16 thoughts on “Quirkitry Exposed

  1. Hey Lingo – great stuff. I agree with the spider thingy. They suck. I’m not totally afraid of them, but I’m also never happy to see them . . . especcially on my person.

    I was laughing at your nicknames for people. Do you tell them the names or just use them for your own personal humor?

    Ben O.

  2. Uh. I will have to admit to identifying with Number 2, 4, 5. I know I am afraid of bugs because my mom is a psycho when it comes to insects, lol. Thanks for the laugh! I really needed it this morning after last night. I posted about it in my blog this morning.

  3. I don’t tell my neighbours what their nicknames are… Maybe when I move out I will tell them!

    I’m glad to know that i’m not the only one who has some of these quirks!!

    Patrick – Buddy, I can’t argue with ya there!! My daughters will be teenagers one day too and I am afraid… very afraid!

  4. completely off-topic, but what is the bus stop? In Madonna’s English Roses book, one of the characters does the Hip Hop Bus Stop and that’s the only dance I haven’t been able to recreate for my daughter. I can google it, but I’d rather hear from someone who spontaneously bus stops.

  5. Hmmm well I don’t know the Hip Hop bus stop, but I imagine it’s the same! I started doing it when Frankie Knuckles – The Whistle Song came out. It’s a dance that’s been around since the disco era and has graced the dance floors at discoteques, hoe downs, warehouse parties (and I guess hip hop parties too)! I don’t like to describe it this way (because it sound cheezy), but it’s kind of like a line dance, only the more ass-shaking soul you put into it… the better!

  6. I also break out into dance at odd moments. Basically whenever I hear music. 🙂 The grocery store would be the most embarrassing. lol

    I am scared of spiders, needles, and deathly scared of clowns. You’d think i’d be used to needles by now since I have to get poked all the time, but nope! I still freak out and cry. lolol

    I HATE it when someone uses a fork in the butter bowl. It drives me crazy for some reason.

    That’s all I can think of right now. lolol

  7. Thanks dr and Aeryn… I feel a whole lot better and a little less psycho now!!

    😉

    Oh… the fork in the butter bowl, i’m not cool with that either… too weird!

  8. Any time I walk anywhere, and I actually walk everywhere, I have huge long conversations with myself which often lead to make involuntary hand gestures or nodding my head or some such thing. I have on good authority that most of my neighbours think I’m a weirdo.

    When I’m badly hungover I always sing:
    “Oh, sweet Jesus
    there is no turning back
    there’s always one more town
    a little further down the track”
    over and over again.

    If I’m on my own at home I’ll often catch myself imitating people’s walks.

    I hate it if my fork and knife don’t match.

    I’m so petrified of hates, I can almost feel dizzy if I see people on cliff edges on television.

  9. are you ever afraid that if you don’t stop changing so often that people will call you insulting names while you are singing and dancing to the tune “everybody hurts”?

  10. Bif – I LOVE your hangover song!! I’ll have to remember that one!

    Rev. Gisher – Actually I am more afraid that if I stop changing so often that it won’t provide the necessary distraction I need to prevent me from taking my car and repeatedly running over someone I hate grinding them into human apple sauce on the pavement.

    BTW – I don’t dance to that tune… I only listen to it when i’m feeling horrible (which isn’t that often because i’m generally a pretty happy person)! I don’t even like R.E.M.

  11. Ugh! R.E.M. Don’t even get me started on R.E.M.! I like listening to stoner rock like Clutch, Cathedral and Fu Manchu when I am cleaning. It keeps me going, lol!

  12. Ha ha, wow I didn’t know how many people loathe that band! I have VAST musical tastes. I spin primarily house music and acid jazz but I also listen to a lot of rock, funk, and even some punk! Depends what kind of a mood i’m in.

  13. i like to walk through Regent’s Park after the rain in me bare feet (that gets me some funny looks)

    i like to put Ambient Music on me Mini-disc and ride down Oxford Street without stopping, trying to avoid the buses, taxis and the people (they just step out into the road without looking, bit of a mad thing to do on one of the busiest streets in da world). that is most fun, come out the other end all wide eyed and really awake.

    i love going out on me bike bout 3am to try and find foxes (London is covered with them at night). i don’t do anything to them, just try and get a pic.

    i also did something quite strange once, info here:
    http://www.fuckcunttwat.com/fear/2005/10/bag-full-of-water.html

    i’ll stop now, getting a bit carried away (:

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