With 1182 more days of Bush left (and counting), Canadians (being the friendly people that we are) wanted to offer our disgruntled American friends a place to hang their hat over here in The Great White North where Timbits run rampant, waistlines are expanding, and a good strong beer is never too far away. This website, (appropriately entitled Marry An American) is helping Discouraged Democrats, Reformed Republicans, and Apoliticals (with limited world-domination tendencies) to get hitched to warm-hearted Canadians so that they can escape the cowboy conservatism that is eating away at their very souls.
I was amused by some of the pledges on this website. It is a Canadian site, in which Canadians are supposed to make the pledge to save an American… So that they can live here! But, as you can see by the examples below, not all of the pledges understand the premise of this website or actually read the URL in the address bar!!! In fact, out of the 149 pledges to save an American, only a handful are actually Canadian, the rest are desperate personal ads from around the world, people who want to get the hell out of their homeland so that they can come and live here (or in the U.S.) and be free, or bomb us… we’re not sure yet!
Here are just a few that I found amusing:
|8184||Amaechi||Lagos||I am a Nigerian,35,need a good lady who is God fearing from Canada or UK for marriage.|
Yeah… Amaechi, these Americans are unfortunately looking for a pledge who CAN FUCKING READ… Dude, What is the name of the website you are on? MARRY AN AMERICAN…. Right? Not Marry a Canadian… or Marry a Brit!!! Did you even read the website? They are looking to escape to CANADA not NIGERIA!!! You don’t have Timbits and good beer in Nigeria and these Americans aren’t looking to marry an ESL student!
|8224||naveed awan||newyerk||hi, my naveed and i marry in usai am loking very good sand me mail adn i sand you my pic|
Naveed from NewYerk huh… Funny, because I live in Canada and don’t recall us having a New Yerk here. Perhaps you can SAND me a picture of where you live and I might recognize it. Something tells me that when you do SAND me the picture there will be a lot of SAND in it.
|8186||Paul||Ajax||Just getting ready to reenter the workforce, after being on disability for 10 years. Hoping to meet a sexy, charming, funny, educated and liberated woman.|
Oh look… I found one. A Canadian who wants to save an American. Awww too bad he’s been on disability for 10 years. How is he supposed to buy the American lady her timbits and beer?! Sure you’re re-entering the work force (*wink *wink). Come on Paul, let’s be realistic here… You’re a dog fuck! And you’re looking for a sexy, charming, funny, educated, and liberated American woman to come and take care of your lazy ass! Not gonna happen… Get a job, there’s nothing wrong with you you lazy wanker!