Church Signs Are Fun Vol. 2

Okay look Pastor Johnny Ass Tonguer…. Your sign is just nasty okay! Totally inappropriate…!!! You might wanna go back into your chamber and seriously rethink it. Either that, or just come out of the closet and be the man you know you are. Go on… go put those familiar leather chaps on and get out there and find a nice firm bum to lick!! God will forgive you! Hell, he may even smile at you while you’re doing it.

I knew churches were creepy, but I didn’t know they were creepy in a Grim Reaper sort of way! Guess it’s a good thing I don’t go to church… I love life… I’m not quite ready to go yet. I still have lots of twisted things to write and I have not yet figured out how they get the caramel into the Caramik Bar. But thanks anyway you fucking culty death dealers… I’ll be sure to promptly walk through the church doors (or valley of death) when I am good and fucking ready!


8 thoughts on “Church Signs Are Fun Vol. 2

  1. Yeah… It definitely sounds more fun!! Plus i’ve always loved fire. I love the way it moves, I love to stare into it, I love to roast marshmallows & make smores, and I love to drink by the fire… You know, this Hell thing is sounding better and better the more that I talk about it.

  2. God those churches are getting scary. Do they really expect those signs to make someone go “hmm, I want to go there cause they’ll help me to die.”

    Have you seen that “God Hates Fags” church in Kansas? I actually saw them protesting at Bill Clinton’s 1996 inauguration. People just walked by them and laughed or they made fun of them.

    I love fire too. I was a pyromaniac when I was a kid. Now I’m just a maniac. I love your blog.

  3. I think the best church I saw in my area said the following “God is y2k ready are you?”

    Even up to this day I still die laughing thinking about it.


  4. Ha ha ha!! 2K ready… That’s a good one!

    I lived in a condo one time and there was this tiny little graveyard (with probably only about 20 graves in it) in the middle of roads and buildings etc… I passed it driving into my condo all the time… Anyway there was also a billboard in this graveyard? (not sure why) but it said “Life Should Taste As Good As Swiss Chalet” one time…

    Too bad I didn’t take a photo of it!! Dave Letterman would have loved that one!

  5. These are hilarious!!! Do you think they really knew what they were putting up? Anyway, good finds…

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