Road Rage… A Necessary Vice!!!

Just got back from a little 4 day mini-vacation, we drove 5 hours to get there, and then drove 5 hours to get home… which brings me to my next rant… ASSHOLES ON THE ROAD!!!

On the way there, we somehow managed to stumble into a roadblock of big pig rigs! It was only a two lane highway and these trucks had created a fucking wall preventing anyone who wanted to actually pass them from doing so. It was 11 o-clock at night on a lonely 2 lane highway but these asshole truckers were causing a back up on the highway just because one truck happened to be driving a car length faster than the others. Finally, after seeing a sea of lights behind him the big dirty fat trucker that was in the fast lane (driving a pathetic 100 kmh) decided to move over into the slow lane so that we could pass them! I stared at the fat bastard and flipped him the bird as we sped past him in an angry rage! How dare they prevent us from traveling at our normal fine-induced speeds! Fuckers!

Then there’s the guy who thinks that his window is made of steel or something. He thinks that the other folks on the road can’t see his finger rammed up his nostril. It’s fucking disgusting! I was having a snack and looked to my right to see this nasty-ass mini van driver just goin’ to town with that finger up his nostril. I’m surprised he didn’t have surgical tools helping him out. I gagged when I saw him, what a pig! Doesn’t he care that he looks like a fucking disgusto!

On the way home we had a drunk driver in front of us. If it weren’t for the fact that the cell phone was dead, his ass would have been nailed because I would have called the coppers on his alcoholic ass! He was swerving like a mother fucker, from lane to lane. It was actually pretty damn scary. In my pre-kid days I probably would have just cut him off, rolled down my window, whipped a handful of pennies at him and laughed hysterically as they hit his front windshield in a glorious display of copper destruction (and hopefully cracked it in several places, or even better… caused him to crash his loser-mobile into a ditch or a concrete block and die)! I’m all for having a few drinks, but not when it endangers the life of everyone else on the road. What a prick! I kind of wish we did the penny thing to be honest! He deserved it.

Finally, we had an Asian family who were also driving a mini-van (what is it with these mini van drivers???!). Now they were fuckin’ death on wheels!!! The guy driving practically had his face pressed up against the windshield and he STILL couldn’t drive to save his life! He looked like he was concentrating so hard on keeping that van straight… but he just couldn’t do it! The rest of the family in his packed van looked like they were all talking at the same time, but the driver just kept concentrating like Mr. Miyagi (wax on… wax off… wax on… wax off). Despite his valient effort, he was a fucking catastrophy on the road. People kept cutting them off, honking, and giving the finger. I don’t even think they were driving highway speeds… perhaps he was confused and thought he was in a school zone or something! The dude was a total disaster!

Fuck, can’t you drive anymore without having to deal with complet idiots who could potentially take your life because of their sheer stupididty! I strongly recommend the penny tossing! We’ve done it before and it is wonderful. Revenge is sweet!

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2 thoughts on “Road Rage… A Necessary Vice!!!

  1. Wow, you are a very descriptive writer. I can totally visualize these situations you were in. Nice job. (I am going to have to try the hand full of pennies thing-thanks for the idea)

  2. Yeah the penny throwing works. It scares the hell out them too… They don’t even know what hit their windshield… Then you speed away laughing hysterically!! ;p

    Evil I know… But sometimes revenge is sweet.

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