Do You Want To Buy It… Or Not?

I’m selling the love of my life right now… Okay, the non-human love of my life… My MINI Cooper! I’m only selling it because I just had twins in February, otherwise there’s NO WAY i’d be getting rid of it.

I’m really annoyed with the mentality of some of these used car shoppers. I mean I understand covering your bases and making sure that you don’t get screwed, but there’s no need to be a wanker about it! After I explained to this one dude that I was only selling the car because of the babies, he then wanted me to take a whole bunch of pictures of the car (in addition to the one he had already seen with the ad), then he emailed me every question in the universe he could think of! I felt like saying “look you anal retentive wanker, why don’t you get off your fat lazy ass and come and look at the car, hell I don’t know… maybe even take it for a drive”! Isn’t that what NORMALLY happens when someone wants to buy a car!!!

Maybe i’m just upset because I don’t want to sell the MINI. I’m so sick of hearing the “trading in the MINI for a MINI-VAN?” jokes… Just let me make one thing clear, I would rather take THE BUS than be caught driving an “i’ve given up on life and only live to transport children” mobile! I feel so sorry for the poor bastards that I see driving around in these mini-vans. The men just look down as if to say “I know, I know… i’m not a man“! The women aren’t as embarrassed as the men because they can hide behind the guise of “we need this for the children, it was the only thing that had enough cargo space for the boys hockey equipment”. Women are better at rationalizing. But make no mistake about it, the mini van IS NOT COOL… and i’m sorry to say this, but it never will be.

MINI Cooper… Very cool… Mini Van… NOT COOL.

What will I do, what will I do…? Should I buy an SUV? Maybe a Hummer… Owning an SUV always runs the risk of some earthy granola extreme activist putting cheap bubble jet anti-SUV stickers on your car. Gotta watch out for those ones… Soon they’ll end up workin’ for the man and paying bills like everyone else and realize that they can’t afford to live the life of an activist anymore, but hey it’s something to do in University right?!

Well i’m going to shake violently in a corner now while I think about selling my beloved MINI.



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