Things You Can Do With Saran Wrap

Low Budget Trailer Condom:
Condoms can be annoying, and let’s face it… Sometimes that latex smell isn’t exactly a turn on. Why not have total control over how tight your dick is wrapped, and how much lube is on there?! Simply wrap up your penis as many times as you like and as hard as you’d like. Maybe slather on some Vaseline or Vanilla scented Astro Glide, and off you go! If you really wanna err on the side of caution, or ease Lurleen’s mind a little, you can always secure it at the shaft with a rubber band.

Tire Flattener:
Got a spare tire? Have no fear… No need to spend $50 a month on a gym membership, fuck that! Get your ass to the grocery store, pick up a few dollars worth of saran wrap and wrap that shit up! Suck in your gut until you’re almost Blue in the face and start wrapping it around your mid section until you are looking nice and flat. You’ll sweat like a motherfucker… but guess what?! Sweating makes you lose weight!! So you can sit there pounding back the pints like they’re going out of style AND LOSE WEIGHT!

Fuck The Alarm:
Wrap up your partner/room mate/friend’s alarm clock with saran wrap, but not before setting it to go off at an inappropriate time… Right in the middle of their precious REM sleep and make sure the music is some whiney twangy-ass country or something equally shit. Blast the bitch!!! Standby with a camera and watch the events unfold as the poor bugger tries to turn off the alarm, but can’t because it’s been wrapped so heavily in saran wrap. This is well worth the effort for the laugh.

Italian Decor
Italian? Or just a wanna-be Italian? Wrap your couch!!! That’s right! You don’t need that expensive hard and uncomfortable plastic; why not instead opt for the cheaper and more flexible saran wrap! You can individually wrap the pillows and then work from there. Your guests will thank you! Especially in the summer…

Bikram Yoga
Fuck paying all that extra cash to attend that trendy Bikram Yoga class… Just wrap your whole self in saran wrap… Chakras and all… head to toe… and head out to your regular Yoga class. You’ll be hot… You’ll be sweating… and you’ll be doing yoga… So you will be partaking in your very own version of Bikram Yoga and reaping all of the benefits. Not to mention the people you will have the pleasure of turning on to this new trend.

Got any other ideas? Bring em’ on!!!

About these ads

11 thoughts on “Things You Can Do With Saran Wrap

  1. The best thing I did was to stretch it across an open doorway so you couldn’t see it. Also stretched over the top of the toilet then putting the seat down. Tee hee hee.
    I had a great laugh at the expence of my roomate, but he wasn’t verry impressed about falling on his ass and pissing allover himself.

  2. You’ve given me a great idea SeLiNa! I’m going to hunt down the kiddo’s stash and Saran Wrap it- lmao.

  3. Shit, someone already said it…

    Oh well… Want fun for hours? Scotch Tape your cat’s paws. They trip like crazy.

  4. Alright so someone TPs your house… oh fuck that don’t just TP them back wrap their car tight in like 20 layers of saran wrap while they sleep…. then just sit back and laugh as they try to get in their car

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s