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Turn Me On Tuesday will resume it’s regular scheduled programming next week. For now, I need to address something serious!! I’ve been noticing some pretty fucking weird search results in my stat tracker lately and it is making me a little concerned… I mean what kind of people am I attracting to this site?
Here are some of the search results I’ve been noticing lately:
#1 on MSN when you enter “Porn Slouch Socks“
Somebody please tell me how these two things are related??? Porn & slouch socks???? Sorry, but I don’t get it. A guy with a flock of seagulls hairdo a foot fetish perhaps?!
Page #3 (at the bottom) in MSN when you type in “Adulterous Love Letters“
Because writing your own adulterous love letter sucks… Why not just rip one off? Who cares, it’s not like you have any morals anyway. And why does Jamaican Cock Soup = Adulterous Love Letters anyway?!
Page #2 for “Playing with Lingo Balls“
Yeah… The last time I checked I was pretty sure I didn’t have balls…. annnnnnnnd I’m pretty sure I still don’t. {looks down into yoga pants} yep… still don’t!
Damn… Only page #12 when you type in “women who make sex to animals“
What do I have to do to make page #1? I am Welsh… And there are an abundance of sheep in Wales… Okay I just gagged saying that. I can’t be funny when it comes to sex with animals. That’s just fucking sick and twisted!
Page #1 on MSN when you type in “Lebanese men sex with animals“
Okay, what the fuck?!
FINALLY!!! One I can be proud of!!! #1 baby, when you type in “Cock Mastering Uncle Fucker“
I also found some of my own (had to raise my spirits a little after all of this sick & twisted shit)
#1 when you type in “Lingo Slinger Rules“
Yeah… The one and only when you type in “Selina is the shatizzle“
Okay, that’s enough head swell. Oh… And I dominate the first page in Google when you type in Lingo Slinger. Okay, seriously… I’m done!
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Oh, those are funny. My favorite is “woman who make sex to animals”. That reminds me of that russian guy in the movie Clerks who is singing that song Berzerker. One of the lines in the song is:
“Would you like some making fuck? Berzerker!!!!”
Comment by fredcq January 24, 2006 @ 1:12 pmHere, try some of the ones to my site on for size. They aren’t all about sex, but the ones that are are sorta spooky:
* 14 girl incest nude pic
* bread baby i’m a want you excellent
* candy156sweet
* cartoon forklift
* clipped muscles men
* frat spankings
* god apologizes for pat robertson
* how to store corn for stove
* outsized dick
* shitting in his mess kit
* the new men’s loo at the sofitel in queenstown nz
* zeppelin of the neoconservative
Sometimes you just have to wonder what people are thinking.
Comment by Omnipotent Poobah January 24, 2006 @ 7:02 pmHa ha ha!!! Those are hillarious!! Glad to see that my site isn’t the only one attracting weirdos.
Comment by SeLiNa January 24, 2006 @ 7:13 pmsex with camels
sex in the desert
gay arab men
naked gay arab men
oral sex with sheep
habib has a woody
bombs, naked broads, and the men who love them. and the men who love the men who love them.
just trying to increase your hits from the mideast and from nsa.
Comment by reverend gisher January 24, 2006 @ 8:41 pmHa ha ha!! Thanks Rev. I know I can always count on you!
Comment by SeLiNa January 24, 2006 @ 9:07 pmHilarious weirdo searches and links. Once again, this proves truth is stranger than fiction. There are some messed up people out there, and I am truly honored to laugh at them. Great post!
Comment by Rocky January 24, 2006 @ 10:22 pm“Playing with Lingo Balls” is too good. Comforting to know that they are not yours.
Comment by Stringman January 25, 2006 @ 12:27 amLOL! Thanks for the laugh! Geez, maybe I better check mine…
Comment by Neil Shakespeare January 25, 2006 @ 1:03 ami don’t think i better check mine (:
Comment by johnie1 January 25, 2006 @ 9:17 amIf you type in “Sactown Hot Chick” in Yahoo! you get my site.
I am not a chick, I’m a dude!
Comment by Steve January 25, 2006 @ 11:15 amOK Steve, we believe you’re a dude. Relax buddy or we’ll get suspicious. Anyways about porn slouch socks, Selina, you’re obviously not aware of my little predeliction for women slouching while wearing nothing except sturdy socks (fwaahr!). It’s a fairly common fetish among Scottish highland men with high speed internet connections.
Comment by west coaster January 25, 2006 @ 6:41 pmWow! This post took things to a new level!
Selina, still working on the code. Hellishly busy week!
Comment by Patrick January 25, 2006 @ 9:27 pmI guess I’m just not perverted enough even though I have an I’m a Perv sign. I NEVER get strange results like that. LOL
Comment by Diane January 27, 2006 @ 6:04 amHey Lingo Slinger… that’s funny. I’ve noticed it too but didn’t mention it. How weird that everybody else reads so similarily, and how disappointing that people dont type more interesting or specific stuff into google. Will google start marketing itself towards the stuff people type in the most? That’s a sick thought.
Unique Visitors
262 5.00% girl
183 3.49% courtney
183 3.49% love
179 3.42% girls
107 2.04% naked
85 1.62% and
85 1.62% ivy
75 1.43% tigers
57 1.09% stopping
52 0.99% place
48 0.92% rimming
44 0.84% the
37 0.71% pussy
35 0.67% guy
34 0.65% filthy
33 0.63% gorgeous <— (filthy gorgeous highs is a quote off the side of my site where i describe my blog.. isnt it weird when people are looking for your blog? )
33 0.63% highs
32 0.61% nude
31 0.59% lows
26 0.50% beautiful
25 0.48% tiger
24 0.46% with
22 0.42% raped
21 0.40% tits
20 0.38% masterbation
19 0.36% hypersexual
19 0.36% for
18 0.34% night
17 0.32% drinking
17 0.32% her
16 0.31% time
16 0.31% play
15 0.29% off
15 0.29% call
15 0.29% first
14 0.27% people
14 0.27% drunk
14 0.27% you
14 0.27% jail
14 0.27% dream
14 0.27% how
14 0.27% driving
13 0.25% methadone
13 0.25% baby
13 0.25% slutty
13 0.25% dali
13 0.25% him
12 0.23% fuck
12 0.23% gone
12 0.23% emily
12 0.23% should
What is with the “him” and “and” and other random words…like why does my site lead to “girls?” how strange. And if anybody knows what the numbers mean…let me know.
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Comment by lyptonoimmory September 24, 2008 @ 9:36 amExcellent site, keep up the good work
Comment by Bill Bartmann September 3, 2009 @ 7:56 pm